Split Decision: Fictional Products

Welcome back to Split Decision! Each week, we pose a question to our staff of knowledgable and passionate film geeks and share the responses! We may never know if it is legal to park in the center of Broad Street, but we’ll answer movie questions all day long. Chime in on Twitter, Facebook, or in the comments below!

This week’s question:

What fictional product from a movie would you most want to own?

A Dapper Dan pomade tin from O Brother, Where Art Thou? I’d also take a poster. It’s a great design and fits my aesthetic. Also anything from The Grand Budapest Hotel, ideally a pastry box from Mendl’s. I wish I designed that box. — Jill Malcolm

The Maltese Falcon. It’s the stuff that dreams are made of. Gary M. Kramer

I grew up playing a lot of Jet Moto on Playstation. Since my very first Jet Moto race my dream was to have my very own flying jet ski to zip around on. Maybe even learn a few sick tricks too. So imagine my surprise when the upper class citizens in Looper had their own badass Jet Motos! I want one more than anything. Even more than time travel. I want it to be orange like a parking cone.–Dan Scully

If given the opportunity to keep and cherish a movie prop of my choice, I’d likely opt for Count Dracula’s ghoulish(ly amusing) cuckoo clock in Werner Herzog’s Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht, for the reason that’s it’s simply the best timepiece to ever grace the screen. It’s also one of the more dispiriting in concept. Every hour, on the hour, the grim reaper emerges from within the miniature chalet, making his presence known, before disappearing back inside, as if to remind the owner of their impending mortality, giving each ticking tock an added resonance.

Hmmm, maybe I should rethink my choice. Better snag the Bulova that perverted cousin wore in the first segment of Immoral Tales, instead.–Dan Santelli

The clear answer here is, of course, the Mattel hoverboard from Back to the Futre Part II! And no, don’t try to sweet talk me with the ~hoverboard~ of today—that is, the self-balancing smart scooter. First of all, that’s the worst description. Second of all, the real hoverboard (from the film) literally hovers off the ground. It—that’s right—HOVERS. And that’s supposed to be 2015. Yet here we are in 2018 with the “hoverboard of today” as it scoots around—ON THE GROUND—as it self-balances. So cool…SIKE. Mattel hoverboard for life! Catherine Haas

I was recently talking with Cinedelphia cohorts about The Rock and since it’s on my mind, I want the secret film that Mason (Sean Connery) stole from the U.S. government, that Stanley Goodspeed (Nicolas “The Rage” Cage) finds at the end of the movie…because more than anything, yes Mr.Goodspeed, I WOULD like to know who killed Kennedy. —Andy Elijah

As much as I’d love to have a lightsaber or a Hanzo sword, I know the truth is I’d just hurt myself. Ditto for the gloves from Ghost Protocol. But what is awesome is bread. So that’s why I want the dream sharing device in Inception. I can explore endless possibilities and worlds, all from the comfort of sleep. And if you die in a dream, you just wake up! —Ryan Silberstein

Alpa Chino’s BootySweat from Tropic Thunder. It’s not the most useful thing I could wish I owned, but it was certainly the first thing that popped in my head.–Jenna Kuerzi

Author: Ryan Silberstein

Ryan spends his days at a company named one of the best to work for in the Philadelphia area, and his nights as a mysterious caped vigilante saving his city from the disease that is crime watching movies. He lives on a diet consisting of film, comic books, experimental beer, black coffee, and those big metal historical markers around town. Follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd.

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